My first post
Meltdowns happen more frequently now. I wonder how long I have until I crack.
Last night’s happened due to a friend being unable to comprehend my words. Well, it started there. In a LJ comment, I pointed out that a certain issue was sensitive by explaining how discussion said subject before caused me to “tizzy.” Apparently, this wasn’t a big enough clue. No, his point of view was more important than my feelings on the matter. He proceeded to give his little example, making sure to tell me I was wrong without actually saying it.
Because he’s a friend in good standing for a long time, I listened to him. Since I cannot ever truly see myself as I am, I rely on my fucking intelligent people friends to do so. The problem with fucking intelligent people is their tendency to know things without knowing how to relate things. Wise motherfuckers are for that. Wise motherfuckers many not know as many things as fucking intelligent people, but they know how to talk about what they do know. Wise motherfuckers take time to understand their audience.
Before you say a word, I know, I know. I’m relying on a faulty system (human beings) to accurately reflect, but it’s the only thing I have. I need more wise motherfuckers than fucking intelligent people in my life.
As I start to cry on the couch with my laptop in my lap, hubby tried to console. He’s a darling of a man who would give anything to have me feel better. I pointed out that he doesn’t have these problems because everyone loves his comic strips. As a means of explaining why, he pointed out that he doesn’t discuss his strips.
At the time, and still, that comment struck me hard. Being scarred and tortured Catholic, I leapt right to blaming me. Because I discuss writing online, I open myself up for these clueless wonders expounding their ideas on shit they know nothing about. That may be true, but that doesn’t excuse assholes from being assholes. I refuse to be responsible for them. As of right now, I’m done being fair and nice to them as well.
So, that’s why I’m here. I’m telling no one about this place. Here I’ll post about my writing and about my anger issues. This is my “fuck you” to everyone who doesn’t know shit about how to talk to crazies.
Last night’s happened due to a friend being unable to comprehend my words. Well, it started there. In a LJ comment, I pointed out that a certain issue was sensitive by explaining how discussion said subject before caused me to “tizzy.” Apparently, this wasn’t a big enough clue. No, his point of view was more important than my feelings on the matter. He proceeded to give his little example, making sure to tell me I was wrong without actually saying it.
Because he’s a friend in good standing for a long time, I listened to him. Since I cannot ever truly see myself as I am, I rely on my fucking intelligent people friends to do so. The problem with fucking intelligent people is their tendency to know things without knowing how to relate things. Wise motherfuckers are for that. Wise motherfuckers many not know as many things as fucking intelligent people, but they know how to talk about what they do know. Wise motherfuckers take time to understand their audience.
Before you say a word, I know, I know. I’m relying on a faulty system (human beings) to accurately reflect, but it’s the only thing I have. I need more wise motherfuckers than fucking intelligent people in my life.
As I start to cry on the couch with my laptop in my lap, hubby tried to console. He’s a darling of a man who would give anything to have me feel better. I pointed out that he doesn’t have these problems because everyone loves his comic strips. As a means of explaining why, he pointed out that he doesn’t discuss his strips.
At the time, and still, that comment struck me hard. Being scarred and tortured Catholic, I leapt right to blaming me. Because I discuss writing online, I open myself up for these clueless wonders expounding their ideas on shit they know nothing about. That may be true, but that doesn’t excuse assholes from being assholes. I refuse to be responsible for them. As of right now, I’m done being fair and nice to them as well.
So, that’s why I’m here. I’m telling no one about this place. Here I’ll post about my writing and about my anger issues. This is my “fuck you” to everyone who doesn’t know shit about how to talk to crazies.
posted by Mary Lewys at 26.4.06
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